Here's something I wrote in an hour out of just a dream I had.
[I'm Not Icraus]
Skybase
I'm not Icarus, I'm not an angel, a messenger of god, anything like that. I'm just a normal human being with wings. I didn't mean to grow them, I didn't want to grow them, and I never wished they grown on me. People always wish they an travel the skies and fly. I wished that too and as a child I wished I had wings so I can go all over the place. But now that I have these, I feel like I'm trapped.
There's more to having wings than none. First of all, nobody in the world owns a pair of wings excepting the birds. I'm a human being with wings. How crazy is that? Nobody will believe this story right? It happened with me for whatever reason.
The first people who were confused were the doctors. They thought I was a joke, that my parents were making this up. But I had to prove to them that these were real. They were wings that functioned just as a bird's wings. They're not small either, they're quite large, but I can't fly with them. Either way, as much as they were perplexed, I became some medical mystery for those doctors. They were happy to study me. I didn't want them to, but they pushed me into it anyway. Some called me an alien, others were quite convinced that I wasn't, instead I was some genetic hybrid of a bird and a human. Nothing really explains it.
My daily life changed since the day my wings were fully grown. First the doctors, next came a media hype. I was subject to some really annoying load of people taking pictures of me. I even had a press conference which I didn't want at all. I got paid fair, but not everybody did. Of course then there were tons of folks who yelled that I was making all of this up. That every single piece of feather and all of the little things inside of me were fake. Some even argued that I was a robot designed to look like a human with wings. They're all wrong and that frustrated me the most. I hated the media hype, but I also hated those who denied these wings. Sure it's unbelievable, but it's painful when people think I'm a liar. I'm not. I don't want these. I don't want to fly anymore. I wanted them to see for themselves that this was real, that I was real but it was never going to happen.
The next annoyance came from the religious people. I don't believe in god, and even if he did exist, I believed he left the world to be. I was rather deist than anything, but I don't place myself anywhere. Some folks called an Angel, that I was a gift from god or gods and that I'm god's messenger. Some said I was the devil. I just couldn't stand the sight of people praying to me as I walked from place to place. I didn't want them to pray to me. I can't answer wishes, I can't give them happiness. I don't have messages and I don't have any intention of destroying the world. I'm mildly spiritual, but I don't believe too much into it. I don't read books on this stuff at all. I'm just a kid with wings. I don't think anybody understands that.
Some of my friends were creeped out by the wings I grew. Others became jealous. I told them I didn't want them. I got beaten when I said that. My best friend though stayed with me. She was the only one who listened to me and understood me. Though her parents hated the attention she got just out of the friendship. We eventually began writing letters to each other instead of meeting, and finally she moved away. Her parents left me a note saying, "Don't follow us." I wanted to say sorry to them, they knew it wasn't my fault, but they didn't want to be part of it. I don't know where she lives anymore.
I was finally left empty. I had nothing but annoyance in my life. I was tired of it all and I was losing my choices in life. Maybe I should become an angel. Yes, I thought about death. Happiness died with the wings.
On a nice summery evening, I decided to head out for once and look around town. Everybody just jeered at me but I didn't care anymore. I had more things running through my head at once than ever. I just wanted to leave the world. I tried flapping my wings, though they weren't enough to lift me.
And I finally gave up on living. My life was no longer worth anything excepting attention.
- - -
As much as that was the story I wanted to tell of what I've been, I also want to apologize here. I'm sure you trusted me when you began reading this but this is going to break all the trust. I'm going to say sorry a million times. I had rough days thinking about writing this. I didn't know if I should.
I know what happens next since it already happened. I heard all about it and I can't write about it no matter what. It's hard for me to write about it.
I'm his best friend who left him on his own. I wanted to write letters but my parents never allowed me to. I sit here, writing this as I imagined wearing his wings.
Now he's gone.
I miss him.
A lot.
